Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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