I heard we made out
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
