He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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