You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
As shirtless as possible
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
