I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
