i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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