North Korea, Best Korea!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
