I feel like I'm in dance class right now
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
