We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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