smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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