she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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