remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
