i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I believe in your delicious
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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