worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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