glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
