I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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