I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
