Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
