All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
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I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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