I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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