to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
