So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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