just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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