I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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