Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
