I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
