I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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