I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
