If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
