Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
