Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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