she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
