Nicole vs. Life
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
