Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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