I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
