i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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