I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
