let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
