Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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