Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.