i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
