My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
