theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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