is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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