so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.