Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
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