Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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