how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
