1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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