i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think I died a long time ago.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
