stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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