She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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