Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
