She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.