thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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