Can Purell be used as lube?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
