Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
